Friday, December 28, 2012

Victim Blues

When I lived with abusers I apologized frequently for things that weren't logical or healthy. It is a real sign of growth when we apologize only for our own poor behavior. In remembrance of the old days and my old ways, here's a tragic poem.

Victim Blues

"I'm sorry"
That I'm not enough
and I mess up
again and again, somehow

"I'm sorry"
You're not happy with me,
not today, or any day,
Or even any half day

I'm sorry for making you angry again
I'm sorry for misreading your mind
I'm sorry for questioning your motives
I'm sorry I am so frustrating and faulty

"I'm sorry"
For having need
and leaking a feeling
for not remaining forever numb

"I'm sorry"
Words I said daily
and  which the abuser never said
words that held me trapped

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