Is it good for you? A short question with huge ramifications.
As former victims, we are more likely to base decisions on unconscious questions such as "Will the other person be mad if I say I don't want to do this?" or "I can survive a little more; what difference will it really make?" or "Will my doing this help this other person out?"
I am learning that this other-focused way of making decisions is insidious and well ingrained. It may have helped me in the past. Perhaps caring more about the other's reaction or needs, rather than evaluating my own condition and needs gave me at least gave me some illusion of power in situations of powerlessness.
But now that I am free from abuse and establishing a more healthy lifestyle, I need to know how decisions will affect me. I need to know if a food choice, medicine choice, or relationship choice is good for me. It turns out that I have a staring role in being responsible for my own health choices. Will I spend time with someone who drains me? Will I do something I do not want to do, because somebody important to me thinks that I should? Will I eat a food that has no nutrient value? Will I alternate sitting and standing throughout the day to respect my physical limitations?
How about you? Do you need to think about whether choices are good for you? The good news is we make many decisions daily so there is plenty of turf on which to practice. Start asking yourself, "Is this good for me?"
If we don't know whether or not something is good for us, we can ask the God who has promised to give wisdom to all who ask.
God, bless our minds with your wisdom, our hearts with receptiveness to the truth, and our wills ready to act in line with Your will. Amen.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5 (NIV)
- Abuse recovery (13)
- Action for Domestic Violence Issues (6)
- Anger (4)
- Author Interview (4)
- Boundaries (15)
- Coping (16)
- Damage from Abuse (24)
- Devotional (5)
- Domestic Violence (44)
- Domestic Violence Awareness Month (8)
- Doormat Thinking (17)
- Emotional Abuse (16)
- Emotional Healing (43)
- Forgiveness (6)
- God's Healing (39)
- God's presence (28)
- Good Friday (1)
- Healing Abuse (27)
- Healing Process (57)
- Healing tools (32)
- Helping Children (16)
- Hyper-vigilance (3)
- Immanuel (1)
- Incest (7)
- Journaling (5)
- New Life (30)
- Perpetrators (10)
- Physical Abuse (10)
- Poetry (22)
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (6)
- Powerless (8)
- Rape (6)
- Recovery (43)
- Response to abuse (38)
- Restoration (16)
- Satanic Ritual Abuse (2)
- Self-care (26)
- Self-Esteem (11)
- Sexual abuse (12)
- Shame (19)
- Trust (9)
- Verbal Abuse (9)
- Warning Signs (17)
- 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing
- A Way of Hope by Leslie J. Barner
- Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Paul Hegstrom
- Battered But Not Broken by Patricia Riddle Gaddis
- Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- Bradshaw on the Family by John Bradshaw
- Caring Enough to Forgive/Not Forgive by David Augsburger
- Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
- Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allendar
- Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune
- Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.
- Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden
- Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good
- The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.
- The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee
- Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green
- When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson
- Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft