Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Healing is a Process

We hear healing is a process. It's logical, but what does it mean from a practical standpoint?

Since healing is a process, it takes time--more time than we would like. Way more time than we would like. It takes so long, that some people are skeptical that complete healing is even possible.

There is little else in life that can cause so much damage in the heart and soul. The repair work needs are extensive. If an abused soul were a car then an honest mechanic would have to turn in a very daunting parts and labor list. Every system can be affected by the abuser's sinful assaults.

It is common for people who have been abused to suffer problems for decades. "Malfunctions" originating from the pain of abuse can affect their:
  • beliefs about themselves
  • self-care
  • relationships at home
  • relationship with God
  • relationships at work
  • relationships with friends
  • physical health
  • emotional health
  • productivity
  • sexual identity
  • automatic self-protective behavior
So what are we to do? Are we victims forever? Are we beyond health and healing?

Not at all!

We just need to go to the correct physician, God our Father. Only God's power can untangle the problems. He is a capable doctor, the most capable doctor, who can heal the damage one step at a time in His perfect timing. He can see the entire picture of our soul and He knows when to apply balm, when to leave a band aid in place, when to do surgery, and when to order rest.

During the past decade of my life I have been amazed at God's ability to heal me. I was once ruled by fear, now fear is an infrequent visitor that I have the power to dismiss. Formerly, I slaved as a perfectionist, now I know that I please God and no longer pour big effort into trying to be perfect. I used to dwell in denial, numb in my mind and heart. Now I would rather face pain or conflict than return to feeling like a walking "dead woman." God is at work in me.

His healing is effective and liberating. Ask for His healing, then watch to see the changes as wounds heal and new strength grows!

2 comments:

Timothy said...

Why does it take us so long to turn our troubles over to God? One would think, especially after being taught in a Christian home that prayer has the power to heal, I would have buried myself in prayer. I did not. I hid from my dishonor.
The answer might have been denial; a simple denial of the truth that I was being abused in my marriage and I did not want others to know it, kept me from God.
Then one day in answer to my fervent prayers, came a simple truth...."If you prayed as much as you worry, you would have no more worries." It was as if God had lifted an immense burden off of my chest.
From that day on, I began to heal, to go to God in prayer and get the help I needed. You can too!

Tanya T. Warrington said...

Thank you for your comment, Timothy. You are right on the mark! Most of us don't turn immediately to God for help with abuse--even if we spend much time in praying about other topics.

When I was married to an abuser for over a decade, I prayed primarily that God would make me a better, more pleasing spouse. I didn't name any of the abuse and I didn't ask God to rescue me or to heal the gaping wounds in my heart.

Once I finally told God that I was helpless to save my marriage and I needed whatever help God was willing to give me--healing began. God's first action was to assure me that He was with me through it all, and that He wept with me. And then he led me step by step out of abuse and into new blessings.

God's help is only a prayer away!

Recommended Books

  • 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing
  • A Way of Hope by Leslie J. Barner
  • Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Paul Hegstrom
  • Battered But Not Broken by Patricia Riddle Gaddis
  • Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  • Bradshaw on the Family by John Bradshaw
  • Caring Enough to Forgive/Not Forgive by David Augsburger
  • Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
  • Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allendar
  • Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune
  • Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.
  • Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden
  • Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  • Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good
  • The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell
  • The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.
  • The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee
  • Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green
  • When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson
  • Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft